Rev. Lora Young’s lack of willingness to assist a transgender woman recently out didn’t align with how available she actually was.

Young is the minister of the South Valley Unitarian Universalist Society, a congregation in Cottonwood Heights, Utah. (That’s in the Salt Lake valley.) I was a member of South Valley in recent years. After I came out as a woman who is transgender, another member recommended to me that I sit down and talk with her.

However, despite plenty of available times on Young’s calendar, she refused to meet more than three times in six months.

Young’s website says that she provides “spiritual direction” and that “Kindness is her primary theology.”

On Feb. 3, Young wrote, “My offer is to meet with you once in March and once in May of this church year. Then we can meet in August if you still desire support at that time.”

What’s funny, though, is that not long before that, Young said this in a newsletter to email subscribers: “I am also available for support during the week by appointment here: www.calendly.com/revlora”

Many times in a week were available.

How was that compatible with Young’s offer? (She said I could talk with her after services. However, I would have hoped so since it’s a mingling time. And I probably would have needed to do most services online.)

As I told Young, because of her amount of availability on her Calendly, I struggled to reconcile that with support she offered.

Rev. John Cooper, the congregation’s affiliated minister, also was opposed to providing the help I needed fresh out as a transgender woman.

Young was even though I told her that hate speech was sent directly to me and that I am being cut off from in-person visits with my children after coming out.

Young didn’t even want to provide the help I needed after Young got back from her family emergency. (And she didn’t.)

Cooper knew about the hate speech and that I was alone for Thanksgiving.

The matter was even worse is that Young chastised the congregation in relatively recent months, prior to this problem between me and her, for how they regarded folks. Given my familiarity with people in the congregation —and thus, the goodness of so many members of the congregation — Young probably is as bad at this as anyone in the congregation.

Young and Cooper were against providing the help I need in this season of my life despite becoming ministers in a tradition with the values like those that Unitarian Universalism has. Which includes love in action.

That is also a problem since they are at the head of a congregation that strives to be really LGBTQIA+ supportive, specifically.

And to my understanding, in the ballpark of the time frame where these issues occurred, there wasn’t even a minister for more than on a rare occasion for more than a few weeks.

I don’t even know how capable Young is at her job. She didn’t even get my name right after I told her it several times four to seven days earlier.

Young was a key reason why I moved from Utah to the Los Angeles area.

(Prior to meeting Young, I resigned from the congregation because Scott Renshaw, a SVUUS board member, said a handful of years ago that I should resign if I wasn’t going to attend regularly. So I resigned not relatively long thereafter.)